February 2012
10 posts
1 tag
Admittedly, spilling my soul to people I barely know usually turns out to be a humiliating mistake, but once in a blue moon it pays off.
2 tags
I tend to fall in love with every stranger I see who possesses some kind of engaging peculiarity in himself/herself.
What happens after that is, of course, what always happens next: it’s either I fall out of love or stay in love with the idea of him, her or them and then forever have my heart broken.
Anonymous asked: Why does it need to take time, always? I feel like I've wasted so much time already.
1 tag
“Are you okay?” I was great until you asked me that question. Now I’m blind with rage. Thanks for your concern, as always.
Anonymous asked: I seek passion. not just some work. til' now i don't know what's my passion. it's a big deal for me, i don't know why. Is it just me or other people also feel this way? It makes me feel lost and helpless. To make my situation worse i have family problems to worry about as well. I'm sorry, i know i'm not supposed to share these things to you since i'm just a...
Anonymous asked: i hope you don't mind if i stay anonymous... how do you cope with it? being lost and helpless.. life is so unfair.. other people get to have a happy life..
Anonymous asked: i feel lost and helpless right now. i feel trapped in a maze full of negative of vibes and i cant seem to find the way out... :(
2 tags
So my 10-year-old sister just got home and said she saw someone got killed today. “The old man chopped off the younger man’s head.”
And now she’s crying.
3 tags
I’ve always been attracted to older people— both men and women. And I mean that in every sense of the word.
They just seem to be mature enough and I feel as though I can learn heaps of things from them to the extent that they intimidate me. And truth be told, I love it when people intimidate me because it only happens once in a blue moon. Old people’s...
3 tags
January 2012
21 posts
18 tags
For the first time in a long time, I drove again. I stole mum’s car because mine’s nowhere to be found anymore and I’ve got no idea as to how that could be. I drove around the city for hours— never considering my speed, never thinking about the direction, never stopping, never knowing where to go, never wanting to find out where I want to go. And I felt rather...
1 tag
moosevox asked: In typical conversations do you think it’s easier to ask questions or answer them?
1 tag
One day my parents found my journal and, of...
*I just came home from school*
MUM: *teary-eyed* My baby, why didn't you tell us?... Why didn't you tell us about what you're going through?... You should've told us so we could've helped you...
ME: ...
MUM: *looks at Dad* ...right?
DAD: *nods*
MUM: We love you, you know that...
ME: ...
*after 28 hours*
PARENTS: Why are you so useless, so worthless, so lazy, so annoying, so stupid, so headfucking?... Why can't you be any better? Get out of here before we regret ever uniting our genitals to produce you.
ME: ...
ME: ...I knew it.
4 tags
Because I want to die now and there’s nothing I can do to make myself feel better and no words could ever convey how I feel at the moment, jhcxwkjhf gherwif heiirehfi gheichihcehrfkcns fasfop ufgowpaufo wjgvsnvkg gugpoegoewjogje hghdgwehyighe ghhdihgk hegklewbneb hfgvwvc adsaddefw3udw qufwehgjsdbv afafalhf fwhfwlfglas bcva!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1 tag
I don't understand why most of you reblogged my...
Just when you finally let go of everything— of every single thing that hurt you in the past, there’s always some shite that comes running to your direction— halting you, slowing down your moving forward, wanting you to turn around again— to see the motherfucking view you just decided to forget about— and making you feel some feelings you don’t deserve...
2 tags
I wish I would die.
On the contrary, I’ve said those words out loud many times and meant it. The only sad thing about it is that it never seem to happen. I guess that’s just the way it really is— you wish hard for something but you find yourself getting nowhere near achieving it.
Life is a bitch like that. Dareen, when will you ever learn?
4 tags
Anonymous asked: Hello, please do answer this one. What is your course?
One of the scariest feelings in life is when you...
Well the thing about me is… all those seemingly scary things never really scared me. It’s like I was born wrapped inside a thick and sticky layer of infinite numbness.
Pain never meant anything. Death was never a threat to my existence.
So what am I, then? Where do I belong? Where does Dareen belong? Does she really belong somewhere? Or was her existence here just some sort of an...
2 tags
To the Anon who left that kind message in my Ask...
Thank you so much for those words. I won’t publish it on my blog because I don’t want to lose it and I’d like to make it a mnemonic for me to go on. It’s been ages since I received that kind of message from someone so let me just freak out here for a bit with my heart melting all over the place. I know it’s also silly of me to feel this way— whatever...
6 tags
Don’t even get me started about how many times I’ve got myself into trouble. Hiding behind the door, crying and blabbering desperately and helplessly, almost praying for them not to find me, and wanting— wanting so bad for my eyes to shut and my body to rest for a very long time until everything’s just over.
Sitting in a prison cell, having all their...
Anonymous asked: I FOOKIN MISS YOUR LONG HAIRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :"(
Anonymous asked: Is getting a girl's portrait painted and then giving it to her considered romantic?
2 tags
Hi.
You don’t know it but this is for you. You might be reading this now or you’ll read this later or maybe tomorrow or next day or whenever. But this is for you and only you.
I’m just happy to know that someone’s there for you right now and your smile’s finally real this time.
1 tag
I don't.
I don’t understand myself anymore; I’ve become distant with who I am and what I really stand for lately. The lines between moral and its opposite have blurred, should I or shouldn’t I tell someone what to do because of my own beliefs? Or do I let them go?
It has become all too easy to associate with the tragedies and stories of the songs I listen to and I wonder will I ever...
2 tags
Really valuing my alone time recently. I think I’m also kind of isolating, though. Sick of friends. Think I need a change of scenery.
moosevox asked: How important do you think someone's past is when getting to know them today?
1 tag
So on the way home today, a guy sat next to me. I fell asleep and woke up to him holding my hand. Literally holding my hand like we were lovers on our way to some special place to make love in. He was holding my hand whilst he was asleep and I can’t move because it was so awkward! His hand over mine, his elbow touching my boob, and I kept on tilting and leaning my head on the window...
lest--we--forget asked: Dareen, when are you going to publish your book!?!? I know you're done with it already.
Things happen and sometimes letting out...
December 2011
12 posts
'Tis a question. An odd one, though.
Was I a praying mantis in my past life? Did I rip the head off my mates and eat them? ‘Cause in this life I seem to be consistently fucked over.
1 tag
So tell me now... what do I want to hear?
When mum says “You’re not acting like yourself” what she really means is “I’m scared of the person you are.”
3 tags
...yeah.
When Christmas is more about Christ than it is about Materialism, that’s how I know I’m broke as fuck.
1 tag
MUM: Honey, what d'you want me to cook on Christmas Eve?
ME: A plate full of Valium would be very great for me. And some cystals as toppings would make me so happy, mother.
2 tags
Aw, fuck.
If only there’s some way I could sleep this whole month until the whole fucking Christmas cheer’s gone, I would.
I’d disappear into the clouds and rest in peace for fucking eternity.
2 tags
I'm an outsider!
Being in a family where you don’t feel like you belong is shite. I would say it’s hard, but it’s not anymore. It’s actually good, to be very honest. But I won’t say good, either. Because it’s good in a very shite way.
Rest, please?
So I’ve been thinking lately… if I die now, it surely isn’t worth it. But nothing would matter anymore because I’m already dead. So I wouldn’t get to worry about things anymore because I’d already be in peace.
Last year’s just the same as this year. The only difference is I didn’t whinge much about things this year. I’ve...
Sorta reflectin'
When people get all spiritual/metaphysical about their drug experiences, I feel bad that I just did them to get fucked-up.
To the man at the bus stop,
Thank you for telling me that girls smoking is a turn-off. I’m flattered you thought I was trying to turn you on.
6 tags
Eat your bollocks.
Compliments don’t mean a thing to me anymore. I used to feel chuffed and giddy in a way whenever I get complimented by people around me and those who I don’t even know but now I don’t get that feeling anymore.
It’s just too hard to take compliments from people who don’t even know the ‘real you’ and just think you’re cool and...
Anonymous asked: How old are you?
1 tag
November 2011
13 posts
Run, run, run... just run away!
I wish there’s some way I could escape this place.
I'm pathetic, I know.
Missing those people who were never mine. Missing those who were never a part of my life.
2 tags
moosevox asked: When choosing a location what matters most?
5 tags
1 tag
moosevox asked: Would you consider your family dysfunctional? Do you think every family is? Why/Why not?
1 tag
I’m always caught up between fantasy and reality. Even though I’m a vast pragmatist, I still get lost in the midst of what’s real and what’s not.
These past few days I haven’t been functioning well. And by ‘not functioning well’, I mean I don’t do things and act like myself. I don’t even know what or who I am right now and...
Anonymous asked: how does it feel to be well-known? Not Tumblr Famous, real-life famous.